Warning: Spoilers ahead!
The much anticipated Netflix NASCAR documentary, "NASCAR: Full Speed," finally landed on the streaming service Tuesday evening, featuring five 45-minute episodes.
It promised more insight into the lives of drivers and it certainly delivered … on some of them, anyway. More on that in a bit.
There was plenty to take away from the show as it followed the series from the start of the playoffs to Phoenix, which ended with Ryan Blaney hoisting his first Cup Series trophy.
He was certainly the season's big winner, but who emerged as the victor of the show? Well, that's up for debate, but here's a few winners and losers from our prospective:
KEN WILLIS:Rolex 24 at Daytona was a big hit again, even with clunky ending; let's take it to NASCAR
WINNERS
Bootie Barker
We’ll just be over here waiting on the “Leave it to Barker” spin-off series.
We’d watch.
Barker, who has been paralyzed and wheelchair-stricken since a car accident in high school, is Bubba Wallace’s crew chief and is the unquestioned revelation of “Full Speed.” From shooing off Netflix’s brass and pouring some whiskey after a tough loss, to quick-witted, one-liner quips dripping with a southern-Virginia drawl, many of the show’s best moments belong to Barker and his relationship with Wallace.
Michael Jordan
While he doesn’t do any interviews, his Airness gets plenty of screen time during long segments on co-23XI Racing team owner Denny Hamlin and drivers Wallace and Tyler Reddick.
And not that his business empire needed any help, but the Jordan Brand may be more front-and-center in “Full Speed” than it was in “The Last Dance.” Did you know the windows in the new 23XI headquarters were built in on a 23-degree angle?
We didn’t either, at least not before Episode 2.
Erin Blaney
As her brother, Ryan Blaney, points out in the lead-up to the Championship race at Phoenix, Erin Blaney had a 50-50 shot at a championship.
In addition to being the sibling of the current NASCAR champion, she is the girlfriend of William Byron, who is also featured heavily in the series. And that means, last year, she picked up nine wins and a championship and by our calculations, nobody in the sport did better.
We learn a lot about Erin Blaney over the course of five episodes, including the fact she loves a good Diet co*ke here and there and buys Lego sets as gifts for her significant other.
Next to Barker, she may be the biggest winner of the series. And winning is nothing new for her.
The Denny Hamlin vs. Ross Chastain feud
It’s alive!
It may be now, anyway.
During a poignant moment in Episode 3, the Netflix crew shows a clip from Hamlin’s podcast to Chastain, one in which Hamlin picks the Watermelon farmer to be eliminated and takes a swipe at the performance of the No. 1 car.
“Love it,” Chastain grinned. “He’s had an incredible career, but just because he has longevity, he then has the ability to create a podcast to talk about everything. It’s like he just copied and pasted what the older guys said about him and now he read it right off the playbook.
“Denny’s not wrong, our performance has not been there. But I like where I’m at in the sport way better than the competitor in the 11 car.”
We’re just going to file that one away for later.
Swim caps
After Chastain has been framed as NASCAR’s new everyman throughout his time on the series, a glimpse into his training regiment is given, complete with a swimming scene.
In it, Chastain adorns a white swim cap and apparently, the search for an aerodynamic advantage and a couple tenths of a second doesn’t end at the racetrack.
We don’t know if a Busch Light, camouflage- or watermelon-print signature series is in the works, but it sure feels like a missed opportunity if not.
Denny Hamlin’s real estate agent
The first stop we make in Episode 1 comes in Cornelius, North Carolina, as the show checks in on the Hamlin household.
Spoiler alert: It’s no shack.
Complete with a golf simulator, a bowling alley, an infinity pool and one massive collection of Jordan shoes among other things, Hamlin’s done all right for himself. And just a few minutes in, he says as much.
“I have a big jet, a big house, nice (expletive), I (expletive) earned it,” he says.
There is no mention of his pin average. Something to look forward to in Season 2.
LOSERS
Kevin Harvick, Martin Truex Jr., Kyle Busch, Michael McDowell, Chris Buescher, Brad Keselowski and Ricky Stenhouse Jr.
Let us precursor this by saying if this was a case of these guys being asked to participate and declining, we apologize.
If not, where the hell were these guys? Because despite being in the playoffs, they sure weren't anywhere to be found in this documentary.
Sure, five 45-minute episodes present some time constraints but some of these were slam-dunk storylines.
Harvick in his final season? Kyle Busch’s first season at RCR? Michael McDowell and Ricky Stenhouse, the Cinderella stories? Martin Truex Jr.’s early dominance and late collapse?
Oh yeah, and…
RFK Racing
Just a complete dismissal of one of the season’s best and biggest stories, the emergence and improvement of Roush Fenway Keselowski Racing. Chris Buescher won three races, including the very summer race at Daytona in which the documentary begins.
And yet, never a word from, and zero face time for Keselowski or Buescher. Shoot, Buescher made the Round of 8, as did Truex Jr. and they get less screen time than Ryan Blaney’s leg tattoos.
Speaking of which…
The nerve endings in Ryan Blaney's kneecap ... ouch!
That sailor-approved tattoo Ryan Blaney has covering his right knee probably hurt worse than his head-first plunge into Daytona’s Turn 4 fence.
If you've ever had colorwork done, you know what we're talking about.
The piece, complete with a big red heart and the word, “MOM,” was one of the standouts and surprises of the show. We must've missed Blaney's Navy stint but now, maybe we understand his fascination with tattoos on lower extremities a little more.
Poor Joe.
INDYCAR:Josef Newgarden mum on tattoo of Ryan Blaney, would like to do Charlotte, Indianapolis double
Squirrel drivers
There were plenty of standout quotes from the show and not all of them belonged to Barker.
After being swept up in a crash while running near the back at Bristol, ending his pursuit of a third Cup Series championship, Joey Logano uncorked this beauty:
“Run in the back with the squirrels, get your nuts busted.”
We’re still researching the driving prowess of the bushy-tailed rodent community and will report our findings.
Tyler Reddick’s driver suit
Tyler Reddick seemed to answer an age-old racing question at the end of Episode 3 after a race at the Charlotte Roval.
Do drivers go to the bathroom during a race?
A few yellow stains on the front of Reddick’s white driver suit and a sheepish admission gave us the answer.
“I don’t know, you’ve just got to go sometimes,” Reddick said into the camera. “You don’t want to hold it.”
Here’s hoping Reddick family vacations include frequent rest-stop breaks.
Pancakes and cooking utensils at the Hamlin house
Look, burning pancakes is a forgivable offense. Really, who among us hasn’t been distracted by a dog, or kids, or a few Netflix cameras while trying to cook a family breakfast?
But how Hamlin managed to melt a plastic spatula to the point of curling, we’re still not sure.
How he can be in business with MJ and live in a house with a bowling alley while not employing a full-time chef may be the bigger head-scratcher.
